IUI Madness

I just had my 2nd IUI. My regular doctor was off today since it's Saturday so I had to have another doc do the procedure. He had a heck of a time getting the catheter into my uterus! He finally had to use ultrasound guidance to get in. Low and behold he was successful, thank goodness.

I'm very frustrated though because we had to use frozen sperm this time since my husband's sister is in town this weekend. The timing this month was just horrendous! Because we have company my husband wouldn't have any privacy to produce a sample so we had to use our frozen sample. As such, I had to sneak out "for a doctor appointment" early this morning. I'm sure his sister is wondering why the heck I had to go to the doctor on a Saturday! Before the procedure the doc said there were 12 million sperm after the wash. This sounds like a crappy deal to me but according to him they want to see 10 million, so at least we hit the minimum. But I'm still uber pissed we couldn't figure out a way to use a fresh sample! The doc also said that you have the highest chance of getting pregnant in the first 3 IUI's and after that the probability goes down. This is not what you want to hear going into your 2nd IUI with stupid frozen sperm! This little tid-bit of information is obviously adding to my stress and anxiety about the probability of us getting pregnant with IUI in general. I mean what the heck happens if we don't get pregnant after 3 IUI's? Do we keep trying? Do we think about other options like IVF. I can't even go there mentally right now. As I was leaving the doctor handed me a prescription for Clomid and said "Here's this in case you need it next month". This did not leave me feeling too hopeful.

For some reason this cycle is seriously toying with my emotions. I feel like I just can't get a grip on myself. If only it were easy to put it all in the back of my mind for the next two weeks until my pregnancy test! My focus is going to have to change if I want to make it through the two week wait without driving myself crazy with thoughts of pregnancy. At least Christmas is next weekend to help distract me. My pregnancy test will be the week after. Praying for a Christmas/New Year's miracle!