12dpo Beta, so depressing

This morning I awoke and took a HPT. It was a big fat negative. Then I had my beta test done and the results came back negative as well. My emotions have been all over the place the last few days. One minute I feel numb and the next I'm crying and feeling heartbroken. I go back and forth between thinking that one of these times it's going to work and I'm going to get pregnant with a healthy baby and the next minute I'm wondering if it isn't meant to be. I know we haven't been trying that long and so far my body is responding like it should to treatment. There are so many women out there who have been trying for years and some who will never have a baby at all. I'm trying really hard to keep that in mind today. Clomid sure makes me feel gloomy though and it's hard to stay positive.

I think this next cycle I'm going to try and turn over a new leaf. It's time to get back to the gym, start doing more yoga and eating better. It certainly doesn't help my spirits when I'm eating tons of chocolate and hamburgers to make myself feel better for a few minutes. It's got to stop. I've got to start controlling my emotions and treating my body better. Hopefully that will lift my spirits and give me a sense of control.