IUI #1 = Failure

Not surprisingly our first IUI cycle out of the gate was a bust. In the beginning I thought the stars had aligned, I produced beautiful follicles on 100mg Clomid by cycle day 12, took the trigger shot that night and had my IUI on day 15 of my cycle. A week later I felt little twinges in my pelvic area and thought maybe, just maybe that little embryo was tucking itself into my uterus and would become our first baby. 

The morning of my blood draw I took a home pregnancy test and got a big fat negative. The blood draw confirmed it, I wasn't pregnant. When the nurse called to tell me the news at first I felt nothing at all, a few days later when my period showed up the numbness wore off and I was overcome with disappointment and a sense of failure. All that money spent, time off from work for tests and blood draws, all for nada. When my period came I tried to rejoice in the fact that at least I'm lucky enough to have a body that's responding the way it should to treatment. 


Going to work after my negative blood test was excruciating. I had talked with a couple of co-workers and told them the news. The following day I realized good gossip spreads fast. I could feel everyone was looking at me with concern. They were waiting for me to flip my lid or burst into tears but I managed to stay pretty calm and normal. I hate having people feel sorry for me, it makes me feel pathetic. I know they all mean well and everyone hopes that I'll get pregnant soon but some days I wish I hadn't ever told anyone we were even trying. 


December will be the month of our 2nd IUI. I've pulled myself up by the boot straps and am ready to try again. The plan is as follows:

• Cycle Day 3-7 100mg Clomid
• Cycle Day 7 HSG test
• Cycle Day 12 ultrasound followed by trigger shot that evening (if follicles are ready)
• Cycle Day 14 IUI with husbands frozen/thawed sperm (he's out of town)

After that I get to partake in the two week wait and try not to obsess, ya right!